sadnesslaughs
Selected Wed, Jun 21, 2023
[Part 1 of 2]
Thomas stumbled towards the group. Giving them a half-hearted wave as he approached the cave they were all waiting outside of. The man’s state laughable to the group of novice adventurers. Not only was his shirt on backwards, he didn’t have an inch of armor on his body. Only having a sword and a half eaten loaf of bread that he was currently gnawing on as he made his way over.
“Morning.” Thomas called out, drops of bread sputtering from his lips. He tried to catch the falling pieces, returning whatever he caught back into his mouth. “Mm. Nothing beats a fresh loaf of bread. Does anyone want some? I’ll trade you for a swig of ale or wine. Hell, even water if someone has any. Although, who needs water? We are adventurers, not a travelling band of merry priests.”
“I only have water. Why would I wish to intoxicate myself on a mission of this caliber?” The priestess remarked, offended by his mention of priests. Who was he to say a priest or priestess couldn’t be an adventurer too? Kelly gripped her staff tighter, glaring at the man.
“This caliber? Isn’t it a goblin pit?” Thomas asked, looking at his fellow adventures, only to frown. “Aww. Did they stick me on babysitting duty again? I knew Jasmine was being too kind when she kept offering me free drinks. I must have agreed to look after the newbies. Stupid drunk promises. From this day forward, I’m not drinking. Ok, maybe not today, but tomorrow. Or next Thursday. At least some day in the next fortnight.” He said, not mentioning a year.
“Listen, it sounds like you’re confused, old man. Why don’t you let the professionals handle this? I’m a rank three adventurer, highest of the group. So, do you mind not intruding? I would hate to have to use you as bait.” Ace smirked, his shining armor the fantasy equivalent of a neon sign that read. ‘Rob and eat me.’ Not necessarily in that order, either.
“Oh, a rank three? Gosh, those are pretty uncommon. Only about five hundred in the kingdom, right? Real exclusive group. Well, go on right ahead. I would hate to distract you.” Thomas said, taking a seat under a shady tree, trying to get over his hangover. He gave his temple a small rub, cursing Jasmine.
“So, what’s the plan?” Brala asked. The bulky female fighter, cracking her knuckles. Even their fighter had gold bracelets dangling from her arms. Thomas wondering how much the goblins could sell all their items for once they were done devouring their flesh.
“I say we go in and take a typical fighting formation. Brala and I will go up front, allowing Kelly to take a healing position behind us. If one of us gets hurt, they can drop back, allowing Kelly to heal them before rejoining the front lines.” Ace explained, only to hear a yawn leave Thomas’s lips. “What?”
“Huh? Oh, nothing. A little sleepy. Why don’t you get your magic lady to wave a torch around and kill them in the confusion? It’s way quicker. Just watch out, your armor will shine in the light, so it will make you an easy target. Might want to take it off.” Thomas offered his advice, not even looking at the group when he gave it.
“Magic lady? I’ll have you know I am a rank two High priestess, one of the strongest in my order. I have studied at over three churches and have decades’ worth of knowledge in all the major religions on this side of the city. The fact that you dare refer to me as a-“
“Ok, sorry.” Thomas raised his hands, regretting saying anything. He had to remember how touchy priests and priestesses could get. It never bothered Jasmine when he called her the flashy boom woman. Or maybe she just ignored him?
“Better be.” Kelly snarled.
“Can we go? I’m getting cold waiting out here. I’ll knock all those goblins out with my punches.” Brala said, starting her pre-fight stretches.
“Punches? Against a goblin? HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR TEETH? It will bite your fingers off. Has a puppy has ever bitten you? You know how sharp their little teeth are? Imagine those teeth with the bite power of a horse. That’s a goblin for you. I wouldn’t be putting any part of my body near their mouth. Not without six protective layers of magic and a priest to purify whatever disease they leave in the wound.”
“My punches are faster than a goblin bite.” Her confidence was something to admire, if not a little foolish. Thomas would have believed her, if not for the bracelets she wore. Anyone planning on throwing punches against a goblin with any sort of additional weight to their hands was a fool.
“Yes, yes, and I can out sing a siren.” Thomas gave a dismissive huff as he drew his sword, motioning the group to follow. “Ok, come on. Let papa Thomas stop you all from dying. Go ahead, I’ll follow you in. Once you get outnumbered, run behind me. Magic la- Priestess, heal me if I need it when you all inevitable mess up.”
“Whatever, let’s do this.” Ace strode in confidently with the group, only for the three to be screaming in no time. Thomas followed behind them, slashing his way through the green terrors. The goblins came at them from every angle, some even jumping off ledges near the ceiling. Ace had four clinging to his armor at a stage, only for Thomas to cut him free.
[Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/14e8boo/wp_one_can_easily_distinguish_a_true_veteran/jou7gvi/)
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Submitted by sadnesslaughs on Tue, Jun 20, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/
Full submission hereThe prompt
One can easily distinguish a true veteran adventurer from the masses, for one doesn’t fear those who show to the start of a dungeon with gleaming weapons and polished armor, but those who show up wearing casual clothing, looking like they just got done shopping in town not 5 minutes earlier.
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