Tregonial
Selected Wed, May 17, 2023
"Return whence you came, human. You are not the space representative we seek."
After a gruelling selection process, years of training, and months of preparation work, Bernard found himself turned down by the Galactic Council to be its representative from Earth. Council Coordinator Xanxas is such a tough nut to crack, refusing to budge from his insistence on Galactic Edicts.
"The first earthling to reach space, Laika the dog, where is she?"
Bernard didn't have the heart to mention she died horribly in space within hours of reaching orbit, the Russians had made no provisions to rescue or retrieve her at all.
"I am using our standard issue universal translator, surely you understand, human. Galactic edict recognizes the first species from each planet to go to space as its representative."
"No living dog on earth has been to space. The last dog that went to space was Little Star in 1961! We started to send humans and stopped sending dogs to space when Little Star came back alive."
"Start sending dogs to space again, human. If dogs could fly a rocket in 1961, I trust it should not be an issue to train a dog to do so again."
"...But..."
"No buts, human. Nobody can defy the Galactic Edict. Send a dog here, and we'll talk."
----
"Why are you still here, human?"
Bernard was sent back to the Galactic Council, this time with a newly trained cosmodog, Merlin in tow.
"I'm here to translate for Merlin."
"That won't be necessary, we have universal translators. Speak, Merlin, tell us what you wish to achieve as council representative?"
With a crackle, the universal translation collar on Merlin comes to life.
"SQUIRREL! BIG SQUIRREL!"
Merlin jumps onto the Council Coordinator Xanxas and licks him from head to toe.
"HOOMAN, I WANT TO PLAY WITH BIG SQUIRREL!"
The Council Coordinator tries to crawl out from under Merlin but the dog pins his bushy tail on the ground and picks him up with his jaws.
"NEW TOY!! HOOMAN PLAY FETCH WITH ME!"
"Xanxas...I hope you understand why I'm applying to be representative instead of..."
"Just get another dog that can behave with the necessary decorum required of a council representative, human!"
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Submitted by Tregonial on Fri, May 12, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/
Full submission hereThe prompt
The galactic council refuses to acknowledge humanity, because galactic edict recognises the first species from each planet to go to space as its representative: they insist on only dealing with dogs
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