Random stories

“… WHAT?”

“I wish for you to become human.”

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.”

I chuckled and coughed. The titanic, muscle bound demon grabbed the vomit bucket and held it next to me, as he’d done many times the past year. Zandrus and I had spent so long in that apartment then the other apartment then our house. So long that I’m about to expire, any day these days. “Break it down, Zan. My wish is that you,” I pointed at him, “become human, like me.” I gestured to me.

“WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE? YOUR SOUL WILL BE MINE REGARDLESS OF MY MORTALITY. I HAVE LIVED, DIED, AND LIVED AGAIN. WISHING MORTALITY ON ME IS… INCOMPREHENSIBLE.” His tail held the vomit bucket in position while the rest of him ripped a bottle of water open. This is a shame, because it was metal and thermally insulated. He dropped some weird purple goo into it and dumped it down my throat. It was some kind of pain killer, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be good long term but I didn’t have long anyway. Tastes like minty grapes.

His hellfire texture of his voice hid his actual feelings. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, we’d had a good run on this Earth. Helping him on dates, getting advice on revenge, learning how to butcher animals for human consumption and demon rituals. He was a demon, yes, but he was a saint just as much. “I’m dying, Zan.”

“THIS IS OBVIOUS.”

“I’m doing to die, and you won’t be with me.”

“IT REMAINS OBVIOUS. ELABORATE. YOUR MEANING.”

“You’re a demon bound to this Earth. When I die, I’ve got a 50/50 whether I make it up top or down low.”

“YES.”

I sighed. I knew he knew what I was getting at, he just didn’t want to face it. “And, when I die, you won’t ever see me again. Either I’ll be up there where you’re divinically banned, or I’m down there where you aren’t allowed to return for, how long again?”

“DIVINICALLY IS NOT A WORD. ARE YOU APPROACHING THE SENILE STAGE?” He turned to look at the calendar behind him. “YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO LOSE YOUR MIND UNTIL NOVEMBER 7. THAT IS OUR FINAL OPPORTUNITY FOR SUSHI NIGHT.”

“Zandrus.”

“…UNTIL HELL FREEZES OVER.” He tried deflecting with “LUCIFERIAN WINTER IS PROJECTED TO BE RATHER PLEASANT THIS INCARNATION.”

“Sure, yeah, exactly. Point is, It’ll be a long time until I get to kick it with my bestie, yeah?”

“… YEAH.”

“Are you going to make me say it?”

“I WOULD RATHER YOU PONDER MORE AND SPEAK LESS. YOUR SYLLABLES COST YOU PRECIOUS ENERGY.”

I laughed again and held his thumb. “Yeah. I’m dying either way.”

“WHY THEN DO YOU WISH FOR ME TO BE MORTAL.”

“I’ll cut to the chase, buddy.” I sat up and was met with his burly hand on my chest. The fire in his eyes demanded I lie back down, but was tempered by the icy gaze I gave him. “When I die, we’re going to be apart. We’ve lived what, 70 years together? And you’ve done everything a human has done. You got into sports and played fair. You saved lives -“

“IT WAS CONDEMNING THE ACTIONS OF A CRIMINAL.”

“Still! You ate him but if you didn’t, so many people would’ve died.” I slapped him in the face, knowing I’m the only person thst could get away with it. “You fell in love! With a person!” His eyes shifted from mine when I said that. “When I die, none of thst will matter to me because I’m gone. But it’ll matter to you.”

“… CONTINUE.”

“You’re going to keep living and finding things to do. Maybe you’ll latch on to another person or go back to killing people, I don’t know. I do know that you’ll never know what it’s like to truly die. Not like this.”

“I WAS HUMAN ONCE.”

“And do you remember what it was like?” He burned in silence. “Yeah. I read your diary, man.”

“I AM AWARE.”

For the first time in months we laughed with each other. “So you know I know that you’re going to miss the fuck out of me.”

“… AND BEING MORTAL ENSURES I PERISH AS YOU HAVE.”

“And live as I have. I want you to live like a human, die like a human, and eventually get to the good place like a human. You said it yourself, the bad place is just temporary. We all get to the good place after enough reincarnations. If you stay this semi-half-kinda-dead-but-alive thing, you’re stuck here.”

“…”

“Don’t argue with me and just let me love you okay?”

He nodded. “PROCEED WITH YOUR WISH. BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS. ONCE MORTAL I CANNOT ‘UNFUCK’ UP A WISH.”

I smiled at him and saw him melt on the inside, hellfire and all. “Zandrus, I wish that, at the moment of my death, you become human.”

My heart skipped a beat as the contract signed itself. “I WILL LIVE, AND DIE, BECAUSE OF YOU.”

“*For* me, bitch.”

“LANGUAGE. HOLD YOUR TONGUE IN THE GOOD PLACE. THE LORD DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO SASS AND WILL, IN YOUR WORDS, ‘ROAST THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.’”

-

Edit: some of y’all seem to like Zandrus so here’s him trying on a suit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/12j2jwz/wp_your_roommate_is_a_hulking_demon_a_former/jfxbc1v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

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Submitted by NeoCipher790 on Fri, Apr 28, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

"The contract is sealed!" bellowed the demon. "Tell me your wish, and your soul will be forfeit to me when you die." Knowing that the demon is bound by magic to make the wish come true whether they like it or not, the human speaks while looking them in the eye. "I wish for you to become human."