Not-My-Best-Username
Selected Fri, Jun 24, 2022
“Oh yeah! I've heard of you guys. Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, and Pride right?”—I pointed to each person in the room —“Though I can’t exactly tell which of you is which...”
The room was filled with groans and seven exacerbated sighs.
“Not this again!” one said.
“I’m not sure why I’m even surprised!” another added.
“Why does everyone always mention Lust first!? Why not me!” still another replied.
“Listen!” a rather rotund man said. “My name is not Gluttony! It’s just Tony got it!!”—He raised his hands in frustration before rubbing his eyes—” All I asked for was a gluten-free chicken sandwich. But you cant fit ‘gluten-free for tony.’ on those tiny little wrappers. so the dude just crammed into it all together. And boom! Glut-tony! Is born!”
“C’mon!” A slender man with long curly dark hair said. “You got off easy! —LUST— LUST! Are you kidding me!? My name is Dustin!”
“Yeah and you have exactly zero maidens!” someone in the group jabbed.
“Not cool dude!” Dustin continued trying his best to brush off the remark. “I mean is everyone and their mom suddenly dyslexic or something!?”
“You’re telling me!” A women dressed like a hippie said. “‘Go green!’ has been my slogan for like hundreds of years. All it takes is one idiot and, bobs you, uncle. Green turns into greed!”
“Oh! I get it!” I said as the pieces started to come together in my mind. “There must have been some kind of mix-up... I told them I wanted to meet dogs... but you guys are some kind of like gods...”
The room was once again filled with seven groans followed by seven exacerbated sighs.
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Submitted by Not-My-Best-Username on Mon, Jun 20, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/
Full submission hereThe prompt
She sighed, looking at you. "We're not the seven deadly sins, we're the seven friendly zens. No one understands us, all because of a mistranslation thousands of years ago."
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