sue_donyem
Selected Mon, Apr 11, 2022
Geoff Klug took a drink of soda and shoved a fistful of Cheez-Its into his mouth while watching *Temptation Island*, when suddenly, an explosion of light and glory filled his living room.
Standing up in shock, Geoff's amazement turned to dread when the light faded.
"FEAR NOT."
A single blazing eye, surrounded by radiant gold and brass rings covered in eyes appeared, with six pairs of burning wings surrounding them as they encircled the orbiting rings. "I AM-"
Geoff screamed, his voice rising in pitch. He stood there, screaming in terror, the front of his jeans going a shade darker. After a few more minutes of screaming, he stopped, took a drink of his cola and caught his breath, and continued to scream.
A good ten minutes later, The Archangel Gabriel spoke.
"FEAR MOT. NOT. FEAR NOT. DON'T BE AFRAID." Gabe spoke with his most human "bone reverberating" voice. "Geoff Klug, you are the second coming! You will lead the armies of the faithful in a final battle with the forces of Satan at Tel Megido!"
"...but that can't be right, I'm not religious!"
"Well, you're either the- look, you're destined for great things, and I'm here to-"
Something thumped against the sliding glass doors to Geoff's back yard, and as they turned to see, it thumped again- A colossal sphere of fire dipped in gold, with rotten and decaying wings rotating around it in a halo.
Geoff flinched. "Who's that?"
"Satan. He's a huge dick, don't open the door. Is that thing soundproof?" Gabe asked, unaware his voice could be heard six houses down at an elderly lesbian couple's potluck.
"I can hear you," Satan chided, "Don't call me a dick, Gabriel, you're being a dick."
"You are indeed a dick, Satan. Who even goes by Satan? That's your job title and you don't even work here anymore. Lucifer. Known dick." Gabriel chimed with irritation.
"I'm here because Geoff's the Antichrist and you are poaching what's a good thing for me, Gabriel, you're the one being a dick."
"I'm not being a dick. He doesn't need to know he's the Antichrist, that's way worse than being the second coming. I think he should have a cool chance at being on the good guys sid- ^oh,he'sgone."
Gabriel turned, realizing the living room was empty. Satan let out a hugh sigh, his countenance going dim. "Watch, he's going to do what the others did and join like, a Buddhist temple or something and be lost to us forever."
"He could have just stepped out. He'll be back."
"...."
"...." The two angels regarded one another.
"Do you wanna watch Temptation Island?" Gabriel asked.
"...I guess." Satan sighed.
---
Submitted by sue_donyem on Thu, Apr 07, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/
Full submission hereThe prompt
Gabriel and Lucifer both want to get Armageddon over with, but they're at their wits end. A person on earth is the potential second-coming of Jesus, or the Anti-Christ. He needs to be convinced he's Jesus, or be corrupted. But he's unbelievably stubborn and thinks he's just schizophrenic.
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