Random stories

"Just go with the light blue polo Jack. Its not like you're going to El Soires or some fancy restaurant", said Zuko, my rescue doberman. "And do bring back a doggy bag for ya boi".

"Honestly, I'll never get used to you speaking that way to me", I replied while grabbing the dog's choice of wardrobe for my date.

"My last master was a piece of work. Dude made me run treadmills and fight other dogs and shiiiii..."

Zuko stopped himself from cursing. He knows I don't like it when he curses.

"Good dog", I told him.

"Yeah well, as long as you give me them biscuts we gravy."

"By the way Zuko, you're coming with me".

His ears perked up. "Word?!?!? Now that's what I'm talking 'bout! Bring ya boi to meet the beeeoooches".

"That still counts as cursing dog", I told him as I put on my best colonge and fixed my hair.

"Dang Mr.Critical man! A dog can't do jack in this crib!", he protested, still expecting to be given a treat.

Afte a last look I grab my keys I make my way to the front door. "Let's go dude! We only got twenty minutes to meet her down town".

Zuko gets up and begins to run towards the door. "Ya ain't gotta tell me twice! Let's bail!"

We finally make it to the dog friendly restaurant. Zuko is on a leash, which he absolutely hates, but has to deal with it. Can't have him running off and running his mouth. I don't know if he's the only dog in the world that can talk or if there are others. I'd rather not have the government or some other entity try to figure out what makes him tick.

"Wuf", he would say on occasion, protesting the wering of the leash he calls the noose around his neck.

"Bark right you crazy dog! You gonna get us in trouble."

"Wuf", he would reply.

"Its only for a little while until the date's finished. Take one for the team! I haven't seen the opposite sex in an entire year."

"Wuf."

"Something's wrong with your dog", said a tiny voice from my right. It was a tiny scottish terrier on a leash.

"You're one to talk shawrty", replied Zuko.

"Excuse me???"

"My eyes are up here". Zuko was roasting this little dog. He always had a knack for pushing buttons.

The little dog became furious. She turns to her owner who was on the phone with someone. "You know what Erica? We should go home. The mutts out here don't know how to act proper."

"Who you calling a mutt you mongrel", shouted Zuko. His words caught the attention of the owner, who hung up the phone and paid attention to her dog.

"What are you doing speaking in public", said the woman in the casual attire to her friend. "People will hear you, plus my date could get freaked out if he heard you."

"I'm right here", I said to her.

"Holy crap!" she yelled out loud. "We gotta go Bonnie!" She begins to pick up her small dog as if it were a child.

"Cat's out of the da bag lady! We know the pipsqueek can talk", said Zuko to her.

Her look of surprise turned to seriousness when she saw us.

"Why would you risk letting out your secret in public", she asked of us both.

"Well for one, everyone's too busy texting or talking and two we're kinda far from the crowd over there", replied Zuko. "Name's Zuko. What's yours?"

"Erica. That guy next to you would be Jack, wouldn't it?"

"That would be me", I said to her. "How'd you know?"

"You did tell me you had a rescue doberman", she said to me.

"Erica! I can't believe you're talking to this clown and his owner", barked Bonnie to her owner. "Espeacially after the way he spoke to me!"

"Shush now Bonnie! Play nice with Zuko."

"You do the same Zuko" I told my dog.

Both of them stared at each other and then looked away. Then Zuko's ears popped up and he started looking at the opposite direction.

"THAT LITTLE DOG'S GOTTA DIE", yelled out a voice that was coming closer and closer.

"Hold on to Bonnie, Erica", said Zuko as he ran towards a pitbull that was running at her at full speed. He managed to grab the frenzied dog by the neck and squeeze hard, growling as he made the grab.

"OWWWW!!! LEMEEE GO!!! I WANNA CHEW ON THAT LITTLE DOG", kept screaming the out of control pit.

Just then the loose dog's owner came by. It was a middle aged woman who was screaming at the top of her lungs. "OH MY GOD MY DOG'S BEING ATTACKED!!!"

The nearby patrons from the restaurant got up and surrounded the dogs. They tried to pull Zuko from the pitt terrier's neck.

"What are you all doing?!?!? The pitbull is trying to attack this woman's dog! My dog is trying to protect it!!!!" My pleas fell on def ears. They managed to get Zuko away from the pitt, who then ran towards Erica without skipping a beat. Before he was able to get to Bonnie I put my arm out to shield her from the big terrier's jaws. He clamped down on my arm and I began to scream. Realzing I was in danger Zuko managed to escape from the mob and went to work on the aggresive dog's neck one more time, allowing me to free myself from its fangs. At this point the crowd realized who the bad dog was and began to restrain the pitbull. Once the dog was secured Zuko let go and came to my side.

"You okay partna", he whimpered as he saw the blood gush out of my arm.

"I'll be okay Zuko. How are you holding up?"

"Other than a few bruises from those fools man handling me, I'll be fine."

Erica came towards me and pulled a scarf from her purse. She began warpping my arm with it to stop the bleeding. I winced in pain as the bite was very painful.

"I'll take you to the hospital. Its not far. We'll take my car", she said as she finished wrapping up my arm. With tears of gratidue she thanked the both of us and helped me to my feet. We all walked towards her vehicle as the middle aged woman could be heard fighting the crowd to let go of her dog. Her screams died down the farther we got from her. Not the way I pictured my first date to go with my talking dog, but at least I made two new friends today.

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Submitted by d_legendary1 on Wed, Aug 31, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You recently found out your dog can talk, but it only feels comfortable talking when it's just you. That is until you get a date who has their own dog. Both dogs talk freely around the both of you.