Random stories

I’m a good kid. Because of this, I always thought I’d get a good part-time job— become a server at a nice restaurant, or something. Well, turns out I’m a lot better than I’d initially realized, because one thing led to another and now I’m a full time sidekick to the greatest superhero of all time. Unfortunately, it’s not nearly as awesome as I thought it would be.

After the initial vanity wore off, I realized my grades were dropping from As to Cs, and the worst part is- I don’t get paid.

Anything.

Boss says my salary’s “The joy of others,” or whatever, but that’s not why I wanted a job.

So, when his greatest nemesis offered me a full-time all expenses paid gig at double crossing… my answer was a resounding yes.

Okay, so maybe I’m not a ‘good’ kid, but I’m plenty good at acting the part.

Typically.

It’s a lot harder to convince my (ex)boss hero as such while standing in front of a white board covering everything a villain would need to know on them.

They’d broken through the skylight of the abandoned factory as I was explaining their peanut allergy to the villain (who never looked up from his notes, I might add), cape billowing as shattered glass showered around them. They’d just begun their speech, but couldn’t even complete the first line of “Your crimes end here,” before spotting me.

“Ian?!” They snapped, confusion slowly morphing into rage. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Oh come on- I’m in costume, it’s ‘Lucidity’ right now, er, uhm…”

I trail off, eyes flicking between the hero and villain, “I also respond to ‘Antipathy’, if you couldn’t already tell.”

They stare incredulously, mask unable to hide the shock that radiates from their mind. “You’re joking.”

“Nope.”

I pop the ‘P’, backing up slowly as their rage continues to grow, hoping to escape before they explode. Figuratively. Well, with their powers- literally as well.

“I should’ve known.” The hero states, tone cold as ice. “How else would they have so much information on me, and minion I’ve never seen- who also possesses a suspiciously STUPID call-name.” They spit the insult, fire sputtering to life at their fingertips.

“Murder is frowned upon, according to you.” I stutter, sweating from both the nerves and growing heat of the room. “Let’s call it a triple betrayal, I’ll hand over the villain, AND I’ll stop asking you for at least minimum wage, deal?”

“I don’t think so.”

The hero and villain say in unison, as all three of us now standing in a face-off.

Hero vs villain vs jobless bum.

Fire vs ice vs mild mind reading.

I should’ve just stuck to retail.

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Submitted by BlueBleak on Sat, May 06, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You're a superhero's sidekick. But he doesn't pay you, so you're also moonlighting as the minion of a supervillain your hero never faces. Until one day, he does.