Random stories

"Please tell us a story grandpa!"*the children demanded while gathering around the nearly 200 years old man before the fireplace.*

*He opened his old eyes and looked at the little monsters that just couldnt let him get his sleep.*

"Fine. But no interrupting me and you let me get back to sleep when I'm done."

*That gave the children a pause because they knew that the man always followed this kind of agreement to the letter, but they really wanted to hear that story so they nodded.*

*The old man sighed and began:*

"Ok. So this happened about 140 years ago.....*\*insert flashback of a beautiful capital with a kings castle in the middle and big roads cutting through the surrounding forest\**

Back then I had retired from the military and instead got a job as the royal translator since I am good with languages.

The kingdom back then had a dragon problem so they hired a hero from a faraway land to take care of it.

The problem was that a rather embarrassing translation error on my part ended with the hero defeating the princess and marrying the dragon instead. Luckily the king wasnt aware of my blunder yet so I had a little bit of time before shit hit the fan.

I still would have been *royally* fucked if I didnt act fast, but you didnt survive in(or even near) the royal court without the foresight to prepare multiple contingency plans.

I made use of every single one of them for my getaway.

First I gathered my old military equipment. I may have been retired but I still knew how to use that mace with deadly precision.

I also also delved into my soul and informed my familiar that it was time to take to our heels.

Rolly lived under a mountain range near the edge of the kingdom, so he had no problem getting out and finding me afterwards, even though he could only really travel at night.

I would have liked to inform my few friends of what I was going to do but that would have been way too risky.

They would understand and I had arranged years ago that my stuff would go to them if I ever went missing.

Then I summoned a Mimicry Fae. It wasnt my first time dealing with a Fae so I knew what to do."

*The man paused and and considered the children with a serious look.*

"Remember kids. Never be the first to summon something. I had the benefit of multiple predecessors being dumb enough to summon a Fae and sell their own soul or the soul of their firstborn. In other words: Never do anything magical without knowing all of the rules and how to bend them."

*He waited a bit to make sure the message sunk in and then continued.*

"But back to the story: A bit of trickery and acting had the Fae thinking it was nothing important and brought the price down to something I was gladly willing to pay(the soul of my neighbors cat).

The pact was sealed and the Fae would make for a good distraction until it was found out.

Then I plundered my emergency reserves. The hero could detect magic tools and weapons with uncanny precision so whatever I took with me had to stay mostly mundane.

One of multiple secret tunnels took me out of the capital and into the woods.

There a boat with a few subtle enchantments waited for me, but even this was not stealthy enough, so I untied the boat and let the river do the rest.

The following weeks were filled with a journey through the wilds. I made sure to avoid any kind of confrontation with the wild life as well as other humans to make sure nothing could be traced back to me.

If I didnt have my familiar to talk to, I probably would have gone insane before reaching my next destination.

Even back in my humble beginning as a common soldier I knew, that I wanted to reach a higher position.

The ongoing war back then didnt permit officers to stab eachother in the back but I knew that the higher ranks would be back at it, as soon as the war ended.

That and the chaotic place that is the battlefield motivated me to build emergency stashes whenever I had the chance.

Call me paranoid but having enough stashes to start forgetting some of them again was definitely safer than just creating a few and hoping that one of them would be near

when I needed it.

It was during that war that our enemies used a Castle Breaker Worm to create a covert tunnel and attack us from the rear. CBWs can tunnel through stone like a fish swims through water and had the annoying tendency to literally undermine castle walls until they collapsed.

They were nearly hunted to extinction because of that, so I have no Idea how our enemies even found that thing not to mention taming it.

But back to the point.

The attack failed and left behind a nice long tunnel that was long enough to cover half of the way to the capital.

The higher ups wanted it closed up but a few enterprising soldiers only blocked most of it and left a narrow route for a smuggling operation they wanted to raise.

Sadly the wild life around there proofed to be too dangerous for transportation so they had to give up. I heard them whining about it while they were drunk in a tavern and I couldnt miss that opportunity.

Suffice to say that it became the biggest, best protected stash and only mine car track I ever build.

It also made that part of the journey a breeze.

Of course I activated the traps I had left behind to slow any pursuers.

After that it was mostly hiking again until I reached the neighboring country.

From there I took regular transportation methods. At least I still concealed my real identity but in hindsight that was rather foolish of me back then, but I was still young and inexperienced.

It took crossing two other countries until I felt safe enough to stop concealing anything and call Rolly to my side again.

But what happened after that will have to wait for another time Kids."

---

Submitted by Ojmt_ on Sun, Dec 11, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You are the royal translator. Due to your mistake, the hero from a faraway land defeated the princess and married the dragon. Now there is a hero demanding his reward, an angry princess, an oblivious king, an infatuated dragon, and you who must find a way to get out of this mess alive.