Random stories

"The first spell I ever cast was entirely on accident. One second, I was recording my chemistry experiment for this class demo project, the next I'm on the ground looking up at a rift in the fabric of space-time." The lecture hall was watching me, waiting for the punchline.

Then I went to the next slide and watched the largest and most embarrassing leap in the history of mankind's development. Laughter played out until I kept speaking with a palpable force of honesty.

"Without this video, I myself never would have believed what had happened." I held up my hands. "And those of you watching will certainly say that that's just CGI. Those of you who know me will be able to assure the rest that my computer skills are even worse than my coordination, and you just saw how awful that is."

"I understand that without real life proof, none of you will believe me, and so I intend to cast the spell here today. " From under the table I pulled out my box of supplies and began setting up. First my lab coat. Then the portable bunsen burner and flask holder. Distilled water. Magnesium chlorate. It was good that the set up took so long. "Over the past month, I and my friends have spent day and night attempting to recreate and then distill this process."

"We have documented each attempt. We have researched every single thing we could imagine. The ritual does not depend on any astronomical or atmospheric conditions. The ritual does not depend on any innate property of the caster that we can identify. The ingredients do not have to be sourced from anywhere specifically, and the source of the heat does not matter."

I sighed.

"It does unfortunately matter. As soon as the solution reaches 93 degrees centigrade, I will begin the ritual. And before that happens I want to emphasize: Every. Single. Step. Matters."

Some people were still chuckling, either at me or falsely believing they were privy to some prank I was pulling. I tuned them out and watched the thermometer rise.

91... 92... 93. It was the lowest we found that would still work.

Showtime.

My left hand flew forward to 'casually' backhand the flask as I spun around, pretending to slip on the floor. The flask went flying as I bit back a hiss and began the incantation. "Fugono!" Turning back around as if lunging for the burning projectile, I watched it shatter against the table as I proceeded to actually fall. Intentionally.

Flinging my legs out from under me to the side, I kept speaking. "Shi-" An unenscribable gasping noise as I hit the ground with my side, arms still extended towards the glass. "-gahsinfabish!"

Clenching my hands, I wrapped my arm around my actually bruised knee and spoke the final words, praying I hadn't messed anything up. "Gidameedit!"

Laughter was cut off as an inky black portal opened in the air above the spilled and broken flask. I flung my hands back and scuttled away as if surprised, causing the second portal to appear under me. I fell through and landed on the remains of my experiment, but that was what my padded lab coat was for.

Rolling off the debris, I took a few seconds to compose myself before standing up and looking towards my class.

Professor Ward broke the awed silence by standing and surveying the portals. "Mr. Harris. This is... incredibly impressive." He tossed a pencil through and watched it come out the other. "And how long does it last for?"

"Eleven minutes and five seconds. Give or take a second."

"Fascinating. And... all that flailing was required?"

"You may recall that there was quite a bit more in the original video." I was really glad that I didn't need to catch my sleeve on fire again. "This was as much as could be removed so far. I'm hoping to reduce it further."

"Fantastic. Truly and simply fantastic." His elderly face gave me a bright smile and a knot of tension uncoiled inside of me. Prematurely. "It's a shame you didn't submit the protocol on time. As such, I'm afraid I can't give it higher than a B."

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Submitted by ThisWanderer on Sun, Apr 09, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You've finally done it. You've proven the existence of magic; discovered how an ordinary human cast spells to control that immense arcane power. There's just one problem making you hesitate about publishing your findings: spellcasting looks so very... STUPID...