Random stories

7,125,000 xp obtained? What the hell… I idly turned on the news, which I always let play in the background while I munch on frosted flakes. All I did last night was argue with people on the internet, and that’s like 5 points max. I did get in this really heated argument with FrostyDude69, but the point total is based on whoever you’re up against, and most of the people who argue on the internet well, needless to say, don’t have a lot of points, and I would know since I’m in that pool.

I heard “7,125,00” uttered on the television, I figured it was probably a coincidence like “mayor wins by 7,125,00 votes” well, that seems like way too much for a local election, but you know what I mean. But I turned to check just to make sure and was utterly shocked by what I heard, “Breaking News: The President has just lost 7,125,00 xp, people aren’t sure if it was an orchestrated attack by a terrorist group, or perhaps some sort of political loss. Experts are looking into it. Back to you Jimmothy.” I know right, who names their kid Jimmothy, and also, wtf! Is it really possible that I stole xp from the President?

I heard a ring, that was friend Terrance, also kind of a weird name, but he’s cool enough to make up for it. I picked up, “Hey, Terry. Have you seen the news?”

His cheery voice came on speaker, “Oh yeah, that’s nuts! But that’s not why I called.”

“Then what? Did you get your cat stuck in the walls again?”

“That was my little sister, and no. Your debate with FrostyDude69 bro! That was legendary!”

I wondered for a moment if I should ask if it was his little sister who had the idea, or that it was his little sister who got trapped in the walls, but quickly decided against it, “Thanks, um.. Was xp collection on that battle?”

“It always is, you normally win.” Terry paused, “Why?”

I sighed, “Well, um… bro, I obtained 7,125,000 this morning.”

“Bro! You don’t think that the President is…”

“FrostyDude69,” I finished, “I don’t know, bro, but its starting to seem like it.”

“Shit bro! That’s crazy! You’d think he’d be smart enough to turn off xp collection during something like that. What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure, I think I have to give them back. I don’t blame the guy, blowing off some steam, stealing a bit of xp from people on the internet. Hmm.. I suddenly have the urge to go back and correct some of my arguments.”

“Don’t do that, bro! Takebacks will kill your clout!”

“I know… I just, oh.. I think all that xp must have gone to my debate stat… shit…”

“What is it, bro?”

“I just remembered the President has a debate coming up. His opponent will totally wipe the floor with him without that xp!”

“Fuck, bro. Well, he was just an alright President anyways.”

“That’s not the point, bro! We don’t take xp from good people. That’s why we never have xp collection on when we challenge each other. I have to get it back to him, somehow.”

“But all that xp, don’t you even want to see what your life is like with all that debate power?”

“I don’t know… but it doesn’t matter, it's going back.”

“Wait! There’s a debate coming up tomorrow you can still enter, and the President’s debate isn’t until next week. You go to the debate get as much out of your awesome ability as you can, and I’ll get ahold of the President.”

“You sure? I should be helping you.”

“Don’t worry, I got this, just record the whole thing so I can see it later, alright?”

“Alright… I promise…”

\_\_\_\_\_

That wasn’t the only debate I went to.

Every chance I had to verbally spar with another, I took. I felt so empowered, calling out my opponents for logical fallacies, tearing their arguments apart like tissue paper, it was a mental superiority I had never felt before.

The thing about being intelligent is doing intelligent things is more fun. It’s no longer a painful annoyance to do math or puzzles, but a thrilling game to solve and decipher. I hungered for knowledge, for a chance to prove my mental worth. I felt I could sway over a whole town with my eloquence. I have bartered with the stingiest of shopkeeps, won debates against university professors, and even wrote out a superior, updated version of our legal system. I did pro bono lawyer work in court because I thought it might be fun, and boy, was it ever! Was this what being smart, what being eloquent was like? Because I never wanted it to end.

But then my friend arrived, “Bro! I got ahold of the President, we need to get on a plane now and meet with him.”

I blinked, “You got ahold of the President? How?”

“You know how my dad’s boss is a pretty important dude?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“And remember when my dad was a birthday clown for his boss’s daughter’s birthday?”

My eyes widened, “No, wait, your dad does clowning?”

“Yeah, it was his old profession, you’ve seen the family photos in my house.”

“That was your dad? I thought that was just some clown your mom used to date.”

“I was already born, and this is the first marriage for both my parents. You seriously didn’t know? My dad still does clown stuff, he does to ClownCon every year.”

“Whatever, I wasn’t as smart as I am now. Wait, why didn’t you tell me, I’ve always wanted to go to ClownCon!”

“Really, bro? I never knew that.”

“No you’re the forgetful friend, yes, they’re so funny! All those clowns stuffed into a tiny car, who doesn’t love that?”

He paled a little, “I don’t, I um… I’m scared of clowns.”

---

Submitted by Dodecadungeon on Wed, Apr 27, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

In your world, people receive xp for defeating other creatures and can level up. Swatting a fly gets you 2xp. Beating your friend at chess gets you 65xp. One morning, you wake up to the notification "7,125,000 xp obtained. Maximum level reached." Only, you don't remember defeating anyone.