oliverjsn8
Selected Fri, May 05, 2023
“Don’t look, just smile and wave.” I instructed Cara.
“But…but… it just swallowed him whole.” Cara babbled.
I smiled and waved at the Karemoeba (the office term for what was once our boss.) After morphing back into a vaguely humanoid shape, it smiled with two sets of mouths.
Karemoeba made its way over to us and stared at my face for a moment when it seemed to remember that humans only have one mouth. The auxiliary mouth quickly merged into the primary mouth. “Larry and, if I am not mistaking, Cara how are you doing today. I trust Larry is treating you well like I know he would. I’m xbealoquola-h!’d.”
Lights flicker, a few birds outside fall to the ground, my computer mouse gained sentience, and the sun briefly flickered green. Reality was quick enough to reestablish control. Everything was back to normal.
Karemoeba continued. “Wait no it is Sus..an. Larry I’m so sorry but I must ask you to move the double parked delivery van that is blocking Linda’s car. Afterward please take an extra half hour lunch and accept this…” Sus-an reached into her gelatin-like mass and retrieved a wallet and set of keys. “$62 and a gift card to Amazon for your troubles.”
“Don’t worry about that man ever again. I just felt so much negative vibes coming from him. I cannot stand for such people taking happiness from my colleagues.” Sus-an continued.
I noticed Cara having a mini-panic attack. I gave her a reassuring smile. Sus-an left spouting pleasantries as she ambled away.
“Cara don’t worry. Sus-an is the best. All of us actually cheered when the Karemoeba assimilated Susan. We figured at worst it quickly would eat our bodies, which is better than slowly eating our souls. It then tried to act like it was Susan and informed us changes were coming to the ‘toxic place’. We all figured **anything** would be an upgrade from that corporate brown noser. “
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Submitted by oliverjsn8 on Thu, May 04, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/
Full submission hereThe prompt
You and your other co-workers have known for a while that something is impersonating your boss. But no one has bothered to say anything because under its leadership the workplace has become an enjoyable place. Today you’re training a new employee when they see the boss eating a delivery driver.
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